Top 10 Unwritten Rules of Wearing White Pants

whitepantsWhether you are a traditionalist, wearing white pants between Easter and Labour Day, or a rebel and pushing the envelope after Labour Day, did you notice that there seems to be a few rules that go with wearing white pants, even though no one really talks about them?

When I have seen people defying these rules, I have been known to gasp out loud. I have even commented that they are braver than I would ever be and that they must be adrenaline junkies who like to live on the edge. Perhaps it’s just my overall lack of coordination that makes me say that.

Either way, I know there has been much dialogue about the “rule” of whether white pants should be worn between Labour Day and Easter, but I think there is a more elaborate set of rules on which I am certain we can all agree.

Here they are, the top 10 unwritten rules of when not to wear white pants:

10 – When carrying a coffee in an open cup or mug (without a lid)

That one drop of coffee on the white pants is not only hard to get out, but it seems to stick around the whole day.

9 – When using a pencil

I don’t know what it is but when I walk around with a piece of paper containing work done in pencil, that will be the time it will smudge… and more than likely, on the pants.

8 – When using condiments

If I must eat a hamburger or hot dog, it is best eaten at a table, or else I will forego the mustard or ketchup. With the latter, I don’t want my pant leg to look like a barber pole.

7 – When cleaning

Let’s face it, white pants attract dust and dirt without really trying. I don’t like walking around looking like a big “Swiffer”

6 – While cooking, even if I have an apron on

The last time I did that, I had a spill show up under my apron, in the middle of its coverage area. How did that happen?

5 – When sitting on any surface outdoors, notably: grass, picnic tables, park benches.

Even though a garden party or a picnic seems like the perfect occasion to be rocking an amazing pair of white pants, for some reason I have not been successful at making it through the event without looking like I’ve been gardening.

4 – When wearing them on a rainy day

When it’s raining cats and dogs, the raindrops seems to kick up all the dirt and grit from sidewalks and pavement, creating an “ombre” effect from the knee down, but not in a best-dressed kind of way… more of a fashion police kind of way.

3- When eating chocolate

This is a very difficult one as a square of dark chocolate is my work place remedy in the event of any type of corporate emergency. But a brown smudge on white pants is not the look I want to rock at an emergency meeting.

2- When eating any food made with tomato sauce

As I’m getting ready in the morning, it is the only time I need to ensure my lunch coordinates with my wardrobe in the sense that any prepared meals containing tomato sauce are banned on the days I wear white pants.

And finally
1 – When wearing more than once

Despite the best of efforts and conscientious precautions to ensure the pants say clean throughout the day, they still seem to attract dust, dirt and pet hair.

But do I let that stop me? No. Because when you have the right pair, they are a great neutral piece that go with everything. I couldn’t imagine a wardrobe without them!

So it’s back in the laundry they go, ready for another day of vigilant stain prevention.

Did you enjoy this post? If you did, please know that there are plenty more where that came from! If you haven’t already, you can check out the rest of my blog at andrebegin.net. From there, you can click on the “Follow” button to receive future posts directly in your inbox.
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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André

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2 Comments

Filed under Humour, Top 10

2 responses to “Top 10 Unwritten Rules of Wearing White Pants

  1. This rings so true for me. It applies also to white shirts/blouses in my case. Every. Single. Time. I have a whole drawer of stained white garments that I hang on to for reasons unknown. Coming over from Jena’s recommendation and I like! Fun blog and lots going on here that I love! Will be back!

    • Hello and welcome Beth Ann!
      It’s always music to my ears when I hear a blog post struck a chord, especially in a funny way! Thank you so much for your comment and I look forward to checking out your works as well! Cheers!

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