The Anti-Bucket List

If a “Bucket List” is a list of all the things we want to do before we kick the bucket, would it not make sense to have an “Anti-Bucket List”, the list of all the things we would be perfectly fine NOT doing before we die?

Here is my top “Top 10” list of things I do not need to do before I kick the bucket:

10- White Water Rafting

No interest whatsoever. Period.

9- Camping

I did it once as a kid. It was ok. It has been crossed off the bucket list. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. No real enthusiasm in trying it again.

8- Travel to a snowier destination than Ottawa

If you have read my posts, you have probably gathered that I am not a huge fan of winter, yet my roots remain deeply embedded in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada (under a blanket of snow lasting 4 to 5 months). Obviously, my preference leans toward travelling to less extreme climates, not more wintery ones.

7- Polar Bear Dips

Following the logic of #8, taking a quick dip into icy water… ha ha ha ha ha! No thank you.

6- Times Square on New Year’s Eve

As much as I adore New York City, being locked into a crowd of strangers for half a day without food, drink or “facilities” does not strike me as a festive way to ring in the new year. Good friends, couch, remote, central heating, a bag of sodium-reduced potato chips, a glass of “bubbly”, and unrestricted access to “facilities” sounds much more appealing.

5- Space travel

Given how carsick I got in my pre-teens, I couldn’t imagine how I would fare in outer space.

4- If I can help it, parallel parking

After having been locked-in between cars, a couple of times, I avoid parallel parking at all costs, unless I can get a spot right next to an intersection or an entrance. Today, I have been known to drive several blocks away from a destination just to avoid parallel parking and find side-by-side parking.

3- Golfing

I always said that if I could swap my golf score with my bowling score, I would be really good at both. However, the sad truth is that when it comes to golf, I really have no natural inclination. I love hearing the stories of family or friends who enjoy it, describing a great game or a great course they tried, because I do acknowledge that golfing on a nice day is indeed a great pleasure. Sadly, I don’t see much golfing in my own future. It is probably safer that way for the team playing ahead and behind me… and the wildlife… and the greenery… and my team mates.

2- Eat blood sausage

My mom reports that as a child, I pretty much ate anything they put in front of me. The only exception was blood sausage. I vividly remember a very sad, teary plea at the dinner table around age 4 or 5, begging her not to serve me that again. I don’t know if it is the taste, the smell or the texture, perhaps a combination of all 3, but I just can’t go near the stuff.

1- Be a contestant on a reality/competition show

As much as I am a huge fan of the Amazing Race and have been known to watch Big Brother and Survivor from time to time, while I think I could do well in some respects, playing the nice guy, the peacemaker, the referee between other contestants, there are some challenges that just do not appeal to me in the slightest… like challenges involving white water rafting, dips in icy water, parallel parking or eating blood sausage.

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Have a great day,
André