The Proposal

Paul: Hey Pete, a Pepsi perhaps?

Pete: I presume your provision of Dr. Pepper is not so plentiful?

Paul: I was poised to purchase pop, but was plagued by professional pressures.

Pete: OK then, a Pepsi would be perfect.

Paul: Any progress with Penelope?

Pete: Positively. We pored over the past and the present as well as the possibility of properly punctuating our plans. It’s possibly time to pull the plug on bachelor life and pledge my love.

Paul: Are you possessed? Penelope is so prim and proper and you portray the preppie player.

Pete: Permit me if I am not privy to your pompous presumptions, but I prefer to pass on your petty prejudiced preconceptions.

Paul: I’m just trying to protect my protégé. Why are you pressing for a prompt proposal? You didn’t engage in premarital… You did use protection, perchance? I’m not in the presence of a future papa?

Pete: It’s not your place to be possessive. And yes, I am perpetually prudent. I really need your perspective. You are so polished… you are public-speaking personified. When I prepare to propose, I perspire to the point of puddles. I am not as proficient as Paul the professor.

Paul: Please… proposing isn’t such a precarious prospect. Let’s pretend… What were you planning to say?

Pete: Potentially, poetry, or perhaps preface with ‘My precious Penelope, you are my princess, I profess my paramount passion!’

(pregnant pause)

Paul: Wow!… you paint a powerful picture. That IS quite the plight… bordering on painful. Postpone the priests and china patterns. Perhaps you DO need more pep-talk. Patience Pete… this will take pepperoni and pineapple. Let me call Pizza Pizza…

(phones pizza place)

Paul: OK Pete. First point: you and Penelope are probably primed to take the plunge. Promotion and persuasion are not prerequisites to a proper proposal. The approach might be polarizing.

Pete: Then perhaps planning a plain proposition like ‘Hey, we’re perfect. Let’s pursue the plans that providence may portend?’

Paul: Possibly, and it is progressing, but point 2, you need to personalize the proposal. Just a pinch of paraphrasing…

Pete: Oh, the pressure! This is punishing.

Paul: Be patient. Practice makes perfect!

Pete: Perhaps, ‘Penelope, I am a pushover for your positive perspective and pure passion for life. Our shared passions are plentiful and I would be privileged by your presence in perpetuity. Will you marry me?’

Paul: Pretty good! You’re practically there, but perk up that posture. Where were you planning on proposing?

Pete: At a popular but private prime rib and pasta place. The place our paths first passed.

Paul: OK Pal, sounds perfect…the pupil is now a pro! Go primp and say hi to Penelope for me

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Filed under Fiction, Humour, stories

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