9. You genuinely worry about losing garbage cans and recycling bins on windy days
8. Moments of deep serenity are attained, not by fountains and a zen garden, but with free-flowing gutters
7. Even though you might not have any home renovations planned, you still will brave the crowds on a Saturday afternoon to attend a “Home and Renovations” show
6. Even though you might not have any home renovations planned, you buy tools in case you do
5. Your vacations are no longer planned at the travel agency, they are planned at Home Depot or Lowe’s
4. You stop noticing the game show models and pay more attention to the appliances they are showing
3. Flashing, soffits and fascia are regular words in your vocabulary
2. You binge watch HGTV
1. Your social calendar revolves around “garbage night”
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