ANDRE BEGIN

I was scrolling through social media a while back when I noticed a well-intentioned meme offering advice to the effect that one should not stay too long within one’s comfort zone. My initial reaction was “Interesting.” However, after a quick rewind through the Rolodex of my mind, my next reaction was “Buzz off!”

My reaction didn’t come from a place of laziness or resistance to change. Far from it. For a busy guy on the go, those were unfamiliar concepts to me. My reaction was coming from a place of recovery, having lived through periods of being out of my comfort zone and on a hamster wheel of chronic change, leaving me craving stability.

Quiet times

I recall periods in my life when I was deeply in my comfort zone. Work was steady and my home life was steady. During that time I often joked that I didn’t have a life, but the reality was that I didn’t have a lot going on outside of the office and I was completely fine with that.

My only regret is that at that time, I hadn’t yet figured out how much I loved writing. Had I known, I could have pumped out a few manuscripts from my bubble of stability. However, I accept if the universe decided that I wasn’t quite ready to receive that gift yet.

I did make a point of getting out there to mix it up and challenge myself from time to time in trying new things. I enjoyed venturing out to cultural events on my own and signing up for classes that were of interest to me and helped me meet like-minded people. The borderline extrovert in me needed that.

Not-so-quiet times

A few years later, things changed. I was so far out of my comfort zone, I was indisputably in my DIScomfort zone. The worst part is that when I thought I’d had enough, the universe continued to fill my plate.

I was very lucky to be surrounded by family, friends and an amazing partner to provide the anchoring I needed to make it through this challenging time, but ultimately, it was up to me to figure it out.

With the help of a psychotherapist, not only did I find resolution and closure on most issues, but I had a stronger toolkit to make sure turbulence didn’t affect me again to the extent that it did. I hope that should life test me again like that, I will be better able to calmly deal with such situations. Time will tell.

But now, in a much better place, I am in full healing mode, letting go and enjoying life.

Lesson learned

Given the inevitability of the ups and downs in life, why shouldn’t we fully enjoy the more tranquil times when we aren’t actively in fight-or-flight mode?

When life serves us an abundant serving of adversity, there is no reason to go looking for getting out of our comfort zone when we are already in a state of learning, adapting and pivoting every step of the way.

After walking through what I consider to be a time of deep adversity, I don’t regard comfort and stability as things to be avoided. They are essential to establish balance. A comfort zone helps recharge, reconnect and regain stability which in turn, helps us to offer the best of ourselves and to have the energy to be of service to others. It is much more difficult to give of ourselves when our world is in a state of flux.

As much as getting out of our comfort zone can be a good thing, it doesn’t mean one’s life needs to be in constant adrenaline-pumping overdrive. Frankly, in retirement, I find myself repelled by the drama and am hyper-vigilant about red flags that warn me of such situations ahead.

There are times when change can be exhilarating but others when it can be overwhelming. Only you can determine which is which. It’s about establishing and maintaining the balance that is right for you, on your terms.

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Sincere thanks for reading!

Have a great day,

André