50 Signs That You Are Sick of Winter

1 – There is enough grit in your entry hall to fill a sandbox, even when you vacuum it each week.
2 – You would like to have a few words with the groundhog.
3 – You run your fingers through the cat’s litter box, close your eyes, and dream you are on a sandy beach.
4 – You visit your summer clothes at the back of the closet.
5 – You put on sunscreen just to enjoy its aroma.
6 – In the car, you crank up the temperature and turn on the heated seats, just to remember what it was like to feel a little sweaty.
7 – Your default TV channel is the Sunset Channel.
8 – When you go to restaurants, you order drinks with umbrellas, and pretend you are on vacation.
9 – You create more playlists of songs with steel drums.
10 – When you check the weather app, you don’t tap on “weather warnings” anymore. You know that it is just more bad news.
11 – You have Googled “vitamin D dosage” on more than one occasion.
12 – You get frustrated when stores put out the lawn and garden supplies, when you are still looking for winter supplies.
13 – You don’t change coats anymore depending on the weather. You give up and just wear your parka all the time.
14 – You start to wonder how long it will take to melt the mountains of snow in the mall parking lots.
15 – You hope it won’t take until July to melt the mountains of snow in the mall parking lots, as a constant reminder of the winter that dragged on.
16 – You hang out in the floral department of the grocery store to remember what greenery smells like.
17 – You long for the smell of charcoal briquettes.
18 – You would give anything to hear the sound of that neighbour who mows his lawn at 7 am on a Saturday morning.
19 – You miss your lawn.
20 – You miss the wildlife that raid your garbage on “garbage day”. You start wondering how they’re doing.
21 – You can’t find a single Chap Stick in the house.
22 – There’s not enough moisturizer in the world anymore to keep your skin supple.
23 – You’ve been indoors so long, you’ve run out of shows to binge watch.
24 – You’ve read the entire contents of your library and have resorted to reading ingredient lists on products in your pantry
25 – The cat won’t come near you anymore because of the electrical shocks you keep giving each other.
26 – You have to use the heated seats of your car to keep take-out food warm until you get home.
27 – After wearing boots outdoors since November, you miss wearing shoes and sandals.
28 – You have been counting the days until spring.
29 – You have been counting the days until daylight savings time.
30 – You start missing your neighbours because the only time you see them is on garbage day and when the laneway needs shoveling.
31 – Your body hasn’t recovered from shoveling from the last snowfall, and there’s more snow in the forecast.
32 – The snowbanks are so high, you can’t see the houses anymore and it’s like you live alone on a country road.
33 – All of the scarves, mitts, tuques and sweaters are in the wash.
34 – Happy snowmen irritate you.
35 – There is so much road salt residue on the car, you can’t remember what its true colour is.
36 – There isn’t enough long underwear to make it through a week.
37 – You are happy when winter festivals are over.
38 – You refuse to watch any TV show or movie in which there is ice or snow in the background.
39 – You don’t put ice in your drinks anymore.
40 – You miss the feeling of the plaid imprints on the back of your legs get after sitting in those webbed lawn chairs.
41 – You send the kids out to get the mail.
42 – You miss the birds’ singing.
43 – On sunny days, you rearrange your routine to involve as much time as possible near sunny windows.
44 – You take notice of the sunrise and sunset times, and how the days are actually getting longer.
45 – You report every pothole you encounter in your commute, hoping that in some way it will make spring come faster.
46 – You start worrying that you’ll be hiding Easter eggs in snowbanks.
47 – You wonder why your ancestors chose to live here, in the snow.
48 – You wonder why humans never adopted “hibernation” as an actual thing.
49 – Everything about driving irritates you.
50 – You start looking for every possible sign that winter is over and analyzing every detail like a lawyer for the prosecution.

Did you enjoy this post? If you haven’t already, please check out the rest of my blog at andrebegin.blog. From there, you can click on the “Follow” button to receive future posts directly in your inbox. Also, don’t be shy, feel free to tell a friend or to share the link.
Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Humour, Lists

One response to “50 Signs That You Are Sick of Winter

  1. lydiaschoch

    I hear you there. Spring can’t arrive soon enough.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s