1 – There is enough grit in your entry hall to fill a sandbox, even when you vacuum it each week.
2 – You would like to have a few words with the groundhog.
3 – You run your fingers through the cat’s litter box, close your eyes, and dream you are on a sandy beach.
4 – You visit your summer clothes at the back of the closet.
5 – You put on sunscreen just to enjoy its aroma.
6 – In the car, you crank up the temperature and turn on the heated seats, just to remember what it was like to feel a little sweaty.
7 – Your default TV channel is the Sunset Channel.
8 – When you go to restaurants, you order drinks with umbrellas, and pretend you are on vacation.
9 – You create more playlists of songs with steel drums.
10 – When you check the weather app, you don’t tap on “weather warnings” anymore. You know that it is just more bad news.
11 – You have Googled “vitamin D dosage” on more than one occasion.
12 – You get frustrated when stores put out the lawn and garden supplies, when you are still looking for winter supplies.
13 – You don’t change coats anymore depending on the weather. You give up and just wear your parka all the time.
14 – You start to wonder how long it will take to melt the mountains of snow in the mall parking lots.
15 – You hope it won’t take until July to melt the mountains of snow in the mall parking lots, as a constant reminder of the winter that dragged on.
16 – You hang out in the floral department of the grocery store to remember what greenery smells like.
17 – You long for the smell of charcoal briquettes.
18 – You would give anything to hear the sound of that neighbour who mows his lawn at 7 am on a Saturday morning.
19 – You miss your lawn.
20 – You miss the wildlife that raid your garbage on “garbage day”. You start wondering how they’re doing.
21 – You can’t find a single Chap Stick in the house.
22 – There’s not enough moisturizer in the world anymore to keep your skin supple.
23 – You’ve been indoors so long, you’ve run out of shows to binge watch.
24 – You’ve read the entire contents of your library and have resorted to reading ingredient lists on products in your pantry
25 – The cat won’t come near you anymore because of the electrical shocks you keep giving each other.
26 – You have to use the heated seats of your car to keep take-out food warm until you get home.
27 – After wearing boots outdoors since November, you miss wearing shoes and sandals.
28 – You have been counting the days until spring.
29 – You have been counting the days until daylight savings time.
30 – You start missing your neighbours because the only time you see them is on garbage day and when the laneway needs shoveling.
31 – Your body hasn’t recovered from shoveling from the last snowfall, and there’s more snow in the forecast.
32 – The snowbanks are so high, you can’t see the houses anymore and it’s like you live alone on a country road.
33 – All of the scarves, mitts, tuques and sweaters are in the wash.
34 – Happy snowmen irritate you.
35 – There is so much road salt residue on the car, you can’t remember what its true colour is.
36 – There isn’t enough long underwear to make it through a week.
37 – You are happy when winter festivals are over.
38 – You refuse to watch any TV show or movie in which there is ice or snow in the background.
39 – You don’t put ice in your drinks anymore.
40 – You miss the feeling of the plaid imprints on the back of your legs get after sitting in those webbed lawn chairs.
41 – You send the kids out to get the mail.
42 – You miss the birds’ singing.
43 – On sunny days, you rearrange your routine to involve as much time as possible near sunny windows.
44 – You take notice of the sunrise and sunset times, and how the days are actually getting longer.
45 – You report every pothole you encounter in your commute, hoping that in some way it will make spring come faster.
46 – You start worrying that you’ll be hiding Easter eggs in snowbanks.
47 – You wonder why your ancestors chose to live here, in the snow.
48 – You wonder why humans never adopted “hibernation” as an actual thing.
49 – Everything about driving irritates you.
50 – You start looking for every possible sign that winter is over and analyzing every detail like a lawyer for the prosecution.
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3 responses to “50 Signs That You Are Sick of Winter”
I hear you there. Spring can’t arrive soon enough.
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