My Grown-Up Christmas List

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESAs we get into the home stretch for holiday and Christmas preparations, one cannot help but notice the Christmas music playing in shopping malls, in stores, on the radio and in every television commercial. One in particular that I have been really enjoying is “My Grown-Up Christmas List”. Composed in 1990 by David Foster and Linda Thompson, the tune is a timely reminder that Christmas is not just about consumerism but it is about kindness, good will, respect and generosity of spirit. Check out the lyrics, it really is a pretty song!

However, on a much less serious note, I find myself reinterpreting the song, time and time again, thinking how life would be so perfect if life’s minor annoyances were eradicated. This my friends, is my grown up Christmas list:

-Perforated products such as paper towels and toilet paper that will actually tear off on the provided perforations.

-For tissues to not explode in the washing machine.

-For the safe return of socks that have gone missing from the laundry.

-For TV networks to not conspire and load up Sunday evenings with some of the week’s best television shows and create a scheduling nightmare for my PVR.

-Football games that run long and exacerbate the problem of recording the multitude of programs I need to record on Sunday evenings.

-Cling wrap that actually clings to what you want it to cling to, not everything else… including itself.

-Computer applications and software that will not completely hijack my system resources to perform an update, preventing me from typing out a glimmer of creative brilliance.

-Computer updates that don’t arbitrarily relocate buttons and toolbars.

-“New and improved” products that aren’t inferior and disappointing.

-For the concern about carbon footprints to get similarly extended to goods, and producing more robust, longer-lasting, quality goods rather than pushing the cheap and disposable.

-Telecommunications equipment that does not need to be rebooted whenever the wind changes direction.

-A natural vitamin supplement that makes occasional writer’s block a thing of the past… a gentle literary laxative perhaps?

-For expiry dates to not pass me so quickly.

-For a return to the lost art of thinking before speaking, especially over the Internet.

-For SUV and van drivers to take 15 seconds to brush the snow off the roof of their vehicle after a snowfall, before heading on to the highway.

-More media coverage of genuinely inspirational people.

-For news media to challenge themselves to tell a story without using the word “shock”.

-Fewer mornings when I wake up feeling hung over or achy… and I did not have a drop to drink the day before… now, THAT’s a shock!

-For stores to get together and jointly use a loyalty system. My wallet can’t hold as many “point cards” as I own, and frankly, my butt would look funny if I did find a way to carry them all in my wallet.

-For my mailbox to not be 99% full of ad mail (especially in December).

-To remain unsubscribed from email lists when I have taken the time to do so, but sometimes it doesn’t seem to stick.

-Smoke detectors that won’t react to toast that is merely “well done”.

-For my cat to become better friends with the vacuum cleaner, especially during peak shedding season.

Admittedly, we could consider the above a list of “first world problems”, but please note, it is just in good fun…

I would also wish for random acts of kindness to not be the exception. I would wish for people to find the spirit and meaning of the holidays, to maintain that spirit throughout the year ahead and to treat others as they would like to be treated. I wish everyone patience, understanding, compassion and respect.

I would also like to take a moment to thank you, the readers, for your kindness and generosity in taking the time to check out my blog. I wish you all a wonderful holiday season.

Did you enjoy this post? If you did, your likes and shares are most appreciated.
If you haven’t already, please check out the rest of my blog at andrebegin.blog. From there, you can click on the “Follow” button to receive future posts directly in your inbox.
Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André

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Filed under Christmas, Humour

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