The Fears of Getting Older

ElderlySignAt 48, which some might call “middle aged” (just not my Mom though – she has banned the use of that expression as the idea that she has a middle aged son freaks her out), it is a strange time for reflection since your career is still in full swing but you know retirement is potentially not far off. It is a time when planning and reflecting actively co-exist.

It’s that middle ground that can be a little weird sometimes… it is not the transition itself, it is the REALIZATION that you are transitioning from one part of your life to another that can be a little scary… and funny at the same time:

– I fear that there are some foods I just won’t eat, not because I don’t like them, but because they don’t agree with me. I used to have a stomach of steel! What happened?
– I fear the day that my favourite tunes of the 80’s which are now considered “retro” will one day become considered “oldies”.
– I fear the day that a fashion I sported in “my day” is back in fashion… again… for the 3rd or 4th time and becomes unquestionably “age inappropriate” for me to wear.
– I fear the realization of the change in wording from “when I grow up” to “when I retire”.
– I fear the never-ending battle with child-proof caps on my supplement bottles … and losing.
– I fear the fact that I take as many vitamin supplements as I do.
– I fear that when I have contact lenses in, my arms aren’t long enough for me to hold my iPad far enough away for reading.
– I fear that without my glasses, there is no amount of squinting that can help me make out details on TV or words on signage
– I fear the fact that some days I have dinner before 5 pm and am in bed before 10:00.
– I fear the fact that I am less than 7 years away from some seniors’ discounts.. and upset I already have already been granted one.
– I fear the day that I have more frequent “maintenance appointments” than my car does.
– I fear the fact that those grunting noises I sometimes make when getting out of a car seem to be coming more frequently.
– I fear the look I must have on my face when a retail employee has not been properly trained in how to return change to a customer and hands me bills then a blob of coins on top of the bills that proceed to slip off and roll everywhere.
– I fear that the comfort of a movie theatre’s seats is sometimes a factor in the “what movie to see tonight” algorithm.
– I fear the fact that birthday and Christmas wish lists are almost entirely comprised of practical things or consumables.
– I fear the fact that when it comes to finding good, safe places to put away things, I am a natural organizer, but when it comes to remembering where those places are…
– I fear that in the notes I scribbled for this blog, that last one came up twice.
– I fear the day the neighbourhood kids start viewing me as the “cranky old man”.
– I fear the ideological shift with regard to expiry dates on food. At this age, expiry dates are practically entrenched in law, wheras in my younger years they were merely suggestions.
– I fear that my transition from hard copy books to electronic ones was precipitated by the convenience of being able to make the font bigger, when I felt like it.
– I fear the reality that with every passing day, the odds of me becoming a member of a boyband keep getting slimmer and slimmer. It’s not that I really want to, just that the option is fading away.
– I fear the day that I go into a restaurant then start looking at the ceiling looking for where that draft is coming from.
– I fear the fact that I occasionally travel to places known for great nightlife and can’t stay awake long enough to enjoy it.

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3 Comments

Filed under 50+, Humour

3 responses to “The Fears of Getting Older

  1. Pasquale

    Absolutely love this!!!

    • Hello Pasquale
      I appreciate your taking the time to check out the blog and to send great feedback.
      It is always a treat to hear when a blog entry resonates with someone!
      Many thanks
      Andre

  2. Pingback: What Was Your Name Again? | It's the Journey

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