Whenever I watch a TV show in which individuals are looking for new homes, I admit that I get a little triggered when they say they want a big kitchen because they like entertaining. It’s not that I don’t enjoy having guests over; it’s just that when I do… things happen.
It could be because of a range or an oven with a mind of its own, the inconsistency in cooking time of in-season versus imported ingredients, or the way starchy things go from a gentle simmer to a rolling boil with little advance notice. Basically, it boils down to any number of variables that can lead to surprises when you’re also playing doorman, bartender and social coordinator.
For example, for one birthday party, even though I must have made gravy hundreds of times over the years, I still wonder how and why I messed it up and ended up with “lump soup.”?
At another birthday festivity, I had prepared what was supposed to be an easy, foolproof cheesecake using cookie dough as the base. For whatever reason, in the resulting dessert, the cookie base was as hard as a rock and would not release from the spring form pan, no matter which sharp implement we used.
Once, when I had a cozy dinner for two set up, none of the meal’s components finished on time. Some were early, some were late, resulting in strange consistencies and textures for each part of the meal. For dessert, I tried making poached pears for the first time. Whether the pears were too young or of a variety that didn’t work for this recipe, two hours in the oven and the pears were still hard as rocks.
One time, I thought that to speed up scalloped potatoes, I could slice them through the mandolin for fine, even slices. Wrong! For whatever reason, they ended up sticking to each other, resulting in a very uneven bake.
The following time I made scalloped potatoes, I went back to the tried-and-true method of hand-slicing them. However, this batch of potatoes was so incredibly slow to bake that the ham to accompany it ended up dry and overcooked.
Then there was the time I was hosting Easter dinner right after coming down with shingles. Even though I felt fine, energy-wise, through the shopping, preparing my ingredients and shining up the house prior, it was right in the middle of cooking dinner that a sudden energy loss hit me, resulting in my mother and my partner having to take over as I slumped in a corner apologizing to everyone.
To this day, I marvel at the brilliance of my grandmother, my mother, and my aunt hosting elaborate holiday meals with all the trimmings. How did they do it so consistently? Did skill skip a generation with me?
Over the years, I have often wondered how some friends make it look so easy. Is it just a question of experience?
I believe therein lies the answer; if I did it more often, I might not be as nervous or put quite so much pressure on myself to make things perfect.
Even now, there are some meals I make for my partner and myself that I can pretty much do with my eyes closed (figuratively speaking, of course). I already know before starting each pot, pan, measuring spoon and mixing bowl I will need for the prep, as well as each tableware item needed. The choreography of the setup is already committed to muscle memory. Maybe hosting a more elaborate dinner is much the same. It’s practice, practice, practice.
When life gets busy (and who knew it could be just as busy in retirement), my preference would be to take everyone to a fine restaurant and let the servers and kitchen staff do what they do best to help make occasions special. But when we do host, I know I need to take mishaps with a grain of salt, take the time to chuckle, offer an apology to the guests and view the oops moments as a learning opportunity.
Either way, it’s a wonder I haven’t thrown in the (dish)towel yet!
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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André
ANDRE BEGIN 
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