ANDRE BEGIN

Four years after taking my retirement, I admit that I feel much more relaxed, especially during the holiday season. With a little more time on my hands to plan, to shop early and to prioritize the most heartfelt traditions, I can pace myself better and enjoy my time with family and friends.

However, it doesn’t seem to be that long ago that I’d arrive at Christmas Eve feeling like I’d been hit by a truck, navigating the slippery slope between overcaffeination and sleep deprivation, trying to make ends meet time-wise. There wasn’t enough eye cream in my medicine cabinet to offset the dark circles and Santa-sized gift bags that were building under my eyes. My mind felt like a GPS, constantly screaming “Recalculating!” as I was on the lookout for opportunities to pick up one more present on this errand run or one more gift card on that shopping trip.

To me, the romantic notion of Christmas preparations, like the ones depicted in holiday romcom movies, played out more like a zombie takeover.

How did that even happen? I think it was the culmination of my tireless overambition, juggling a healthy dose of must-dos with an abundance of things I wanted to do, and not being self-aware enough to see the cause and effect on my energy levels to know when it was time to tap the brakes.

First, there were the normal fall and winter preparations, such as car maintenance, the installation of snow tires, getting in line for a flu shot, and stocking the pantry with staples, should Mother Nature experience a wintry hissy fit and make it difficult to run errands safely.

Next came the time for the Christmas shopping, trying to do it as early as possible, for this empath to avoid the ripple effect of negative energy from temperamental shoppers dealing with long line-ups, crowded parking lots and out-of-stock products. Despite my best intentions, I didn’t always have wish lists in hand to get the job done before Black Friday and just had to get the last shopping done out of peak times.

As a fan of the Christmas card tradition, I used to do my best to write a personal message in each card I was sending out. However, one year, ambition may have gotten the best of me in getting up earlier than usual to complete a batch of cards and in my morning fog, I made some mistakes along the way. It was a relief that the recipients got a good laugh out of it, but it was a clue to me that it was time to rethink my expectations of the tradition.

To me, it wasn’t the holidays without the scent of baked goods permeating through the house. I thoroughly enjoyed this part of the traditions, making our family favourites and sharing them at every festive stop along the way. I knew I didn’t have to, but to me, it wouldn’t be Christmas without it.

When it came to decorating my house, in the first years, I admit that I went a little over the top with the real Christmas tree, the decorations on every floor of my townhome and the lighting that drove up my electricity bill. I knew I didn’t have to, but it was my first house and my first opportunity to go nuts.

I always thought I was reasonably well organized. No sooner than the Halloween decorations were put away that I would already be drafting a timeline of the tasks I wanted to undertake in November and December to make it to Christmas on time. After years of practice, it was becoming a finely tuned project plan. But still, maybe it was too much.

Individually, none of the tasks was terribly time-consuming. But when put together, the long list of small tasks can fill time quickly.

Nonetheless, I always enjoyed the treats and trimmings of the holiday season, but it was difficult to feel in the moment, when all I could think about was how much I needed a nap. But it didn’t matter. I was jet propelled by the gratitude and the extroverted energy that came with the invitations to celebrate the holidays with family, friends and colleagues.

It is interesting that, at this phase of life, even though I technically have more time for Christmas preparations, I realize that the spirit of the holidays is not about decorating my house to look like a holiday movie, baking until I pass out or driving to the four corners of the city looking for the perfect gift. There’s nothing wrong with trying to recapture the magic of the holiday season by upholding as many of the traditions that we know and love. But to be fully in the moment, enjoying the company of family and friends can be the greatest gift to everyone, including ourselves.

For that reason, I would suggest that we shouldn’t put so much pressure on ourselves to make Christmas perfect. Maybe being kind and gentle with ourselves should be the first thing on our to-do lists, to ensure we can truly be present in mind, body and spirit, to appreciate these precious moments without feeling like a zombie.

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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André