ANDRE BEGIN

I recall being told a few times by teachers and parents to “sit properly” in my chair, meaning that my fanny should be making contact with the seat and that my back should be against the backrest.

True enough, as a youngster, there were times when I’d be wrapped around the chair in many creative positions like a contortionist or a circus performer. I also recall times when I’d sit and slide down like a blob. Boredom can do that to a curious and creative kid.

In lacking the sense of consequence for my misdemeanors in poor chair use, I was warned that I could hurt myself or that I could break the chair.

Fortunately, the latter never happened, but the jury is out on whether the “hurt myself” part might have something to do with a recurring disc issue I experience today. We’ll never really know for sure.

However, I do wonder if karma has come back to haunt me in the form of the revenge of the chairs.

I am very lucky in the fact that in my day-to-day life, I am surrounded by comfortable chairs. Whether it is the chair in which I sip my morning coffee, the chair that I use for writing or my rocker recliner for watching TV during the evening, my back is in safe territory. There’s also the matter of my mattress that is specifically tailored for my sleeping needs to keep my spine supported in the right places.

Who knew that chairs and mattresses could be such a delicate house of cards when one has flare-ups with back issues? It just takes a trip outside of the house and the safety of our meticulously chosen furniture to be reminded that not all chairs are created equal.

Whether it is waiting room benches, restaurant banquettes or auditorium seats, it is weird how a backrest could be one degree too far forward or backward to throw my spine into a fit. I have also encountered broken seats that dipped downward which rendered a chair virtually unusable. Or worst of all, a broken chair that leans to the left or the right that has the makings of a chiropractic visit waiting to happen.

It’s like chairs are maliciously laughing at me through their slightly different angles, ready to destabilize what little spinal alignment I might have. Again, could it be karma?

The twinges I feel remind me of my office days and the mismatched boardroom chairs that had me running to meetings early to ensure I wasn’t stuck with the wonky chair in the room. It is difficult to look serious and professional when squirming in my seat and shifting back and forth like I am trying to hold back a fart.

Over time, I have discovered that regular stretching routines can help offset the effects of chairs that don’t fit me quite right and help me bounce back more quickly. But when all else fails, my chiropractor is on speed dial.

Can a chair be comfortable for some and uncomfortable for others at the same time? Of course. A good chair is entirely a matter of perspective. Because our bodies are so different, there really isn’t a one-size-fits-all for all sizes and back conditions. I don’t envy chair designers for that very reason.

As I get older and my back continues on its journey of super-sensitivity, I wholeheartedly accept that my testing chairs before sitting in them will remain a fact of life. After all, it’s not like there are dedicated chair testers in every restaurant, theatre, terminal and medical office, doing the rounds to ensure that chairs are well-suited for everyone.

As I continue to work through my karma, I hope to get to a point where the universe balances itself out and I can finally sit down and arrive at a truce with chairs that might not completely agree with me.

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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André