ANDRE BEGIN

It seems like only yesterday that my mom was asking me to turn down the stereo. Back in my high school and university days, background music was an integral part of my homework routine to keep the brainwaves propelling forward… even if it was sometimes a little loud.

Not much has changed as I still regard background music as essential to help me maintain my pace when writing. However, what used to be energetic 80’s pop is now mellow instrumental jazz and classical.

While I still occasionally enjoy loud pop music in the car, my appetite for loud music seems to have faded over time. Frankly, my tolerance for anything loud seems to have disappeared faster than my hair.

When I lived in the city, I accepted the constant ambient roar as a part of day-to-day living. I appreciated how it made a city feel vibrant and exciting.

I also understood how it could turn into fingernails on a chalkboard when it became relentless.

When that happened, the weekends were my opportunity to restore balance. When the city was slowly waking up, I’d sip my coffee, working on my next writing project, with Ivy the Cat gently snoring on the wing chair beside me. In the background, the delicate tones of jazz and classical were so welcomed to soothe the senses.

I tend to think that it was my aspirations as a writer that contributed to me turning down the noise (literally and metaphorically speaking), quieting the mind, to better hear what my inner writer’s voice was trying to tell me. That was when the saying “I can’t hear myself think” made absolute sense to me whether referring to noise from outside sources, or just the grind of my mind racing and processing the events of the world.

In that epiphany, I increasingly understood why people headed to cottages or went camping over the weekends. I also understood why some celebrities craved quiet time away from Hollywood when their programs were on hiatus or they were between movie gigs.

There have been times when I felt like an old mobile device that didn’t seem to hold a charge like it used to. In those times, unwanted noise tended to exacerbate the problem. Quiet time helped me recharge.

Even now, after four years of catching my breath after a long career and a busy life in the city, I sometimes wonder if I should be so surprised that I am still soaking up every moment of peace and quiet that is offered to me. I still crave those moments… even subconsciously.

There have been times when I would launch one of my instrumental playlists to help me begin a writing session. Later, when the playlist would run out, I would be so deeply in the bubble that I would miss my cue to tune in to the next playlist. I was writing in silence and hadn’t noticed. The quiet was just as welcomed as the gentle music.

Similarly, there have been times when I would turn the TV on to keep me company when doing things like cleaning the house or working in the kitchen. Yet there were also times I’d be an hour into my work and realize that I hadn’t turned anything on and I hadn’t missed the background noise.

This is not to say I don’t enjoy high-spirited, invigorating moments in life like theatre, concerts and bustling restaurants. I truly do. Those moments can still be inspiring, exciting and stimulating for the senses, all at the same time. I still enjoy them, just maybe not as often and not at the same relentless pace as the younger me may have been more resilient to endure.

Is this the outcome of living on the middle line between being an extrovert and an introvert?

Is this the time I need to heal from too many years of noise pollution?

Is this just a search for balance?

As long as I continue to crave quieter moments, I will continue to take advantage of those opportunities as they come up. Our new home in the country definitely helps. Leash walks around our property with Ivy the Cat and strolls along our quiet country road have been restorative, recuperative and good for the soul.

At the same time, when life offers me a fleeting chance for a full “feast for the senses”, I can welcome it with open arms and enjoy every moment, knowing that I am better equipped to balance the noise of life with quieter moments of reflection and serenity.

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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André