ANDRE BEGIN

Ever since we moved to our house in the country, one of the projects that has bugged me has been the screens in our basement windows. As you can see, one of them had a hole so big that a toad kept stepping through it and pressing his nose against the window to say hello and to seek our warm hospitality – or was it the warmth of the house?

From the beginning, that screen was more obstinate than a child going through their terrible twos and wouldn’t budge. To make matters worse, I heard that a hardware store less than five minutes from our house could repair them quickly and easily. The prerequisite was that you had to bring them in. So close to getting them fixed, yet still so far.

Season after season, I would muster up the courage to declare a rematch to try to get the screen moving in any direction. But it remained a formidable opponent.

I am not a total novice when it comes to windows and screens. In having watched my dad skillfully remove them countless times for cleaning, I was more than empowered and ready for this task.

Yet six dwellings and almost fifty years later, I couldn’t figure out these basement window screens, which made the job of removing them without breaking the track even more daunting. I remained the defeated contender with the window screens as the reigning champions.

This past year, there was a glimmer of hope. The screen moved. Somehow I succeeded in getting it to wiggle horizontally an inch, then two. You’d think that I had found the cure for cancer given my joy at this very small step forward. However, as much as these few inches was indeed progress, it was still – in the literal sense – miles away from the repair shop.

We had recently hired a company to do some work on our house requiring a few visits. During that time we got to know them well enough to know that they were a friendly and approachable bunch. One day, as one of the tradespeople came down from the ladder having survived his mission in the attic, I blurted impulsively, “Can I ask you a really stupid question?”

He responded with a smile but also a sense of hesitation, “Su-u-u-ure.”

I went on to ask, “I’m not usually helpless when it comes to home repairs, but I’m completely baffled by our basement screens.”

He laughed.

“The most I am able to do is to get them sliding side to side and that took four years of wiggling, nudging and speaking nicely to them to get to that point. Everywhere I’ve lived I have taken out windows and screens with no problem, even here in our upper floors. But the basement ones I just can’t figure out.”

He reassured me, “Sure, let’s go have a look.”

We went outside which highlighted my first mistake, I was trying to remove the screen from the inside.

Then after a couple of minutes of jiggling it in different directions, he was able to confirm that the traditional method of lifting and pulling out from the bottom should work here as well. However, the bottom track had a buildup of dirt and debris which added to the screen’s stubborn streak. Also, the upper track that was supposed to be spongy to allow for the screen to raise felt seized up like it hadn’t moved in a while, likely needing some physio-style exercises to regain its bounce.

Fortunately, with the help of a chisel from his trusty tool chest, he was able to wedge it out gently, leaving the track intact.

After he was on his way to his next house call, with the tricks of the trade in my back pocket, I tried removing another basement screen that looked like it had lost a fight with a critter. To my surprise, I was able to jiggle it out without struggling too much. The mystery had been solved and the wisdom had been transferred.

Given my excitement at finally being able to fix these two screens, I was showered, dressed and ready in record time. Upon arrival at the store, I was able to get past the initial embarrassment of presenting our shabby-not-chic looking screens at the customer service counter, knowing they likely saw some like this before, or even worse.

When I asked for an estimate, the clerk said that is was very hard to say as it depended on materials and labour, but it shouldn’t be too bad. I realized that “not too bad” is a relative term especially in hardware store circles. After all, it’s not like I have ever seen window screen repairs ever featured on The Price is Right. Either way, it needed to be done.

When I asked how long it could take, the clerk said it depended on how busy they were, but the screens should be ready in a day or two. With the finish line in sight, without hesitation, I said, “Deal!”

Early the next morning, I received a call from the hardware store. The screens were ready – in less than 24 hours! When I asked what the total bill was, I wondered if my cell phone cut out for a moment and missed a number as I thought she said “$32” which seemed awfully reasonable. Just the same, I thanked her and said I’d be there soon, knowing that I still had some work to do in properly cleaning out the tracks first.

I grabbed our little cleaning tool that looks like an electric toothbrush and proceeded to offer the bottom track a cleaning worthy of my dental hygienist’s approval. I then stuck my fingers in the upper track, gently massaging it to restore the squishiness it needed to move freely again. With the preparation work done, it was time to pick up the screens.

When I arrived at the hardware store, the clerk seemingly recognized me as “the screen guy” without me having to say anything, and emerged with our good-as-new screens. He rang up my invoice and sure enough, the bill came to $32. My heart soared at the thought that we were almost there, with screens no longer the eyesore they were just one day prior, and repaired so quickly and affordably.

When I returned home, with enthusiasm running very high, I made a bee line for the windows, eager to put my new found knowledge about screen installation to good use. With only the faintest of grunting to get the screen high enough in the upper track, I managed to slide in the bottom part of the screen in place with a most joyful clicking sound. Moments later, the second screen was in place, to my great euphoria.

We were finally able to open the basement windows to let in some fresh air without worrying about the unintended invitation it could represent to insects, chipmunks or toads. We could now get a good cross-breeze without fear, worry or repeated checking that we didn’t literally let the outside in.

And it only took four years.

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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André