ANDRE BEGIN

It is a little strange how our society expects the very young to have so many things figured out for decisions that can have a domino effect well into the future.

When I was in primary school, I already knew which middle school and then which high school I was going to. Fortunately, those decisions were determined by the school district we lived in, not so much my own choice. Those were easy enough.

From around grade 5 or 6, I was told that good grades were needed to make a good impression on the next educational institutions. Fair enough, that made sense to me.

It was in high school that I started noticing how my choices sometimes had the power to open and close doors. Each year, we were provided with a prospectus outlining the course offerings for all grade levels. As I marvelled at the variety of course electives to choose from, it didn’t take long for me to notice that some courses were part of a series and that the successful completion of the first year was a prerequisite for the second year, and so on.

And thus began the never-ending deduction process of figuring out my long-term life goals and working my way back to ensure I didn’t miss a pre-requisite on the way through high school, university and entry level career options.

How’s that for pressure for a 14 year old with no definite answer to the question “What do I want to be when I grow up?”

I noticed that some of my peers were already in the groove of that long-term thinking in carefully choosing their part-time and summer jobs. Some were holding out for assignments that held a degree of alignment with their post-secondary plans and career goals. Meanwhile, I was just happy to have a job.

Thankfully, our parents, teachers and our guidance counsellors were there to help steer us down the right path to meet those requirements or at a minimum, to help keep our options open.

But even through the career years, that long-term thinking was far from over. There was always that delicate balancing act of choosing assignments that interested us while still being mindful of building up our resume and becoming well-rounded employees to meet the requirements of our next career steps.

When I look back, it’s no surprise to me that I might have had a few brushes with anxiety and sleepless nights when it came to life decisions like these.

The part that always bothered me about this domino effect was that with the high cost of post-secondary education (then and now) it didn’t leave a lot of wiggle room.

What if someone discovered that something that they thought was their destiny, was just not a right fit? What if someone launched into a career and didn’t end up liking it as much as they originally thought? Or what if they discovered along the way another field for which they have more affinity, talent or interest?

How do we go back? How do we correct course? Is it too late when we are already paying a mortgage and have mouths to feed?
Personally, I didn’t have the patience to deal with the possibility of going back to school. I just wanted to start making a living and get on with my life.

When I hear of the pressure felt by our youth and of the mental health issues some feel as a result, I wholeheartedly sympathize.
How are we to make all the right decisions, with little margin for error?

How are we to enjoy those supposedly carefree preteen and teen years when saddled with all of these decision points that can stick with us for an entire lifetime?

All of these decisions are made based on our hunches, best guesses and whatever information we have at the time.

There is unfortunately no crystal ball to know for certain what’s correct or best.

It’s a lot for a young mind to process and to deal with.

I survived, but did I make mistakes? Did I take the long way to the path I was meant to follow?

Sure I did! That’s what it means to be human.

Just the same, I am so glad to be past all of those decisions, having been through high school, university and a full career. Now, with all of those decisions in the rear view mirror, I am able to live more in the moment and worry less about the next steps.

This isn’t to say that I don’t ruminate about things anymore. There are still big decisions that need proper research, analysis and mindful thought to reach the best decisions possible. But for any decisions, past, present or future, much like anything, there are no guarantees.

Looking back, was it a perfect straight line to my goals? No, I had my share of twists and turns.

Was in an interesting trajectory? You bet it was and it made me who I am today.

And for that, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,
André