ANDRE BEGIN

Over the years, I have been offered a few suggestions to deal with my jet lag. One such trick was to sleep on the plane and then on arrival at my destination, to proceed with my journey according to the new time zone.

That might work if I was actually able to sleep on a plane. I have tried ear plugs, reading, sleep aids and calming music, but I have yet to successfully achieve more than a brief nodding off. All I can do is keep myself entertained to pass the time, in the hope that fatigue will sufficiently catch up with me on arrival for a nap.

Unfortunately, cat naps haven’t kept me immune from the tricks that jet lag has played on me.

Crossing the pond

On trips to Europe, six hours ahead of my time zone, when it comes to meal times, there isn’t much of an adjustment. Lunch here is like dinner there and breakfast here is like lunch there. But it’s the sleeping that doesn’t know where to fit in.

While being able to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning in the new time zone is great for experiencing night life, it doesn’t help stay on schedule if one wants to visit sights during business hours.

For some reason, my sleep cycles seemingly go out of alignment with any time zone on the planet as I start sleeping in split shifts, three to four hours before sunrise and then a nap of similar duration in the afternoon. When that happens, I wonder to myself if this is how vampires feel.

A day or two of this routine isn’t too bad, but a week into it and my brain feels like it needs a vacation from the vacation. I recall returning from one such trip so jet lagged that I ended up sleeping for fourteen consecutive hours that first day, twelve hours the next and reducing progressively until I was back to eight hours and back into the old routine.

Either way, I wouldn’t turn down the opportunity to travel to Europe despite how jet lag might affect my sleep patterns… or lack thereof.

The morning gambler

When travelling across three time zones in the other direction, to Las Vegas, I tend not to have issues when it comes to sleep cycles. I do my best to stay up as late as I can, and then when I finally listen to my body and call it a night, I’m out cold pretty quickly for a solid nights’ sleep.

The problem arises the next morning when I wake up around 5:00 a.m. Vegas time (8:00 a.m. Eastern time) fully energized and ready to see the sights. The only issue is that the rest of Las Vegas is still asleep and the breakfast places haven’t opened yet.

The first time I visited, as an absolute novice to the casino floor, I didn’t know that when playing at a machine or a table, servers circulate to bring free drinks to players, even coffee! It sounded like a perfect match for me, for that time of day.

For the duration of my Vegas journeys, I would start my day by finding a row of penny or nickel slot machines that appealed to me, I’d try to find one that seemed to be in a good mood and then I’d make myself comfortable. When the servers would come by asking if I wanted something to drink, I would just ask for coffee.

Even though I wasn’t a whale of a gambler by any stretch of the imagination, I was able to keep myself entertained at a time when my body was ready to start the day, doing something pretty common in the Vegas tourist experience and without spending too much money. The writer in me also enjoyed some time for people watching along the way.

This became my morning ritual until the breakfast places opened up at which time I’d collect what was left of my modest bankroll and proceeded with my day.

The opening remarks

Several years ago, I was asked to travel on business to share with our regional counterparts the news of a new project. The object was to start the consultation process and open the door to questions and feedback, given the changes our project could represent for them.

The trip involved airline travel, hotel stays, dinner meetings, plus a one-hour time zone change while visiting four cities over three days. With youth on my side and energy to spare, the ambitious schedule didn’t really scare me.

However, it was on day three and city number four that the pace of our ambitious itinerary was starting to set in, no matter how young or how energetic I thought I was.

In my meeting notes, the first line of my script read, “Thank you for welcoming us to the beautiful city of…” with the last word left blank. The intention was that I would insert the name of the city where the meeting in progress was being held.

The moment that we were asked to take our places for the meeting to begin, I realized I was in deep trouble. I honestly could not remember what city I was in at that point.

You would think that remembering the names of four cities should have been easy, thus explaining why we left a blank in the speech. However, I was drawing a blank myself.

In the spur of the moment, I made a quick editing decision. I decided to open my speech with “Thank you so much for welcoming us to your beautiful city” without actually naming it.

I continued seamlessly by listing the sights we saw on our way in, name-dropping landmarks like a travel agent, hoping the name would come back to me. I then went on to recommend the great restaurant where we had dinner. In doing so, I was able to convey my appreciation for the city’s warm hospitality in the hope of compensating for my faltering brain cells.

I then recited the rest of my script from memory without missing a beat. The speech full of technical terms rolled off my tongue, but how the city’s name remained missing in action is still a mystery to me.

Thank you, jet lag!

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Have a great day,
André