Tag Archives: observational

The Challenge of Writing Funny Stories During Covid-19

Throughout the Covid-19 pandemic, I have often wondered how other artists were coping with it, and how their creative processes were impacted.

In the beginning of the self-isolation period, this was all very new to us and like most people, I turned to the news to remain informed and to try to make sense of it. But it didn’t matter which channel I watched, even when the coverage was seemingly balanced and factual, it was scary. For an empathetic, sensitive person, the statistics alone drew very strong emotions.

In trying to find levity, I turned to social media only to find many people posting the same news articles that were starting to get me down in the first place. In the spirit of psychological self-preservation, I had to taper my news consumption and to self-isolate from social media.

When times get tough, I have the honour of being able to say that I can turn to my art to try to keep my mind occupied and to centre myself.

In the early years of writing this blog, I made the conscious decision that I wanted this to be a light, safe and fun place for people to turn. This was as much for the readers as it was for me. Once I reached that decision and found my voice, the stories followed without having to look too hard for them.

As the pandemic struck, I already had several blog posts in first draft, recounting the stories of stress, anxiety and unexpected humour behind the recent purchase of a home and the selling of my current home.

Finalizing those blog posts and keeping to my usual posting schedule was relatively easy. Coming up with new material after that series was surprisingly challenging.

I think it would be fair to say that for writing, inspiration can sometimes be a tricky thing. The “Eureka!” moment of a viable story idea and the discipline to write come from within. But the content that goes into the story often comes from threads of human experience. Continue reading

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When Vacation Time Becomes Home Maintenance Time

Maybe it’s a product of having a busy life and many interests, but I long for the day when I can take a vacation and for it to be entirely made up of time to put my feet up, read a good book and just relax in well-earned peace and tranquility.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a home owner. I also love taking care of my investment. The problem is that through a normal work week, when you factor in time for social activities, writing, cooking, cleaning and laundry, there isn’t much time or energy left to bring out the power tools and the paint cans to knock things off my home maintenance to-do list.

And even when I do set aside time for do-it-yourself (DIY) projects, I want it done right the first time. I don’t want to rush the project and risk making a mess. For that reason, it needs a generous time allotment.

It would be one thing if I had no natural inclination for DIY projects or if I hated them, but I don’t. I actually think they are a joy and a privilege.

The worst part is that I am responsible for the to-do list and I tend to expect a lot of myself, so the list does get a little ambitious.

That being the case, the list of projects often get deferred to the only time where time and patience are in good supply: vacations… or should I say, stay-cations. Continue reading

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Filed under 50+, Humour

With This Many Loyalty Cards, How Loyal Can You Be?

Reward CardsDo you remember the episode of the TV sitcom “Seinfeld” when George Costanza’s wallet explodes from the multitude of items he had filed away in it? Some days, I feel that could be me just from the quantity of reward and loyalty cards I have accumulated over the years.

Just this past week, I was in a rush to leave the house to go see a movie and found myself deep diving through the kitchen counter pile of flyers, lists, receipts and other miscellaneous orphaned items, to look for my movie loyalty card. Fortunately I found it in time, despite the needle in the haystack factor.

I have loyalty cards for airlines, hotels, department stores, grocery stores and pharmacies. I have cards to earn me free coffee, free pet food and free dry cleaning, to name a few.

As you can see by the stack of cards in the picture, I am a member of a multitude of loyalty programs, but frankly I am not as loyal to them as they may think. I confess, I have been seeing other stores behind their back.

Out of all of those cards, only two of them are always in my wallet. Maybe five get rotated in and out of the wallet regularly (…when I remember to). The rest, I try to keep as organized as possible by placing them all in a business card keeper (…when I remember to).

Talk about a house of cards, Continue reading

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I Should Have Wished for Longer Arms

Eye GlassesWhen I was told to make a wish before blowing out the candles on the cake for my 50th birthday, I have to admit that nothing ran through my mind at the time. I am very lucky in so many respects and have so much for which to be grateful. What could I possibly wish for that I did not have already?

The answer came a few days later: longer arms!

When it comes to my eyesight, here is the long and the short of it: while I can really see fine (without glasses) for a three to four foot radius, anything beyond that, I turn into Mr. Magoo and require glasses. This has been the case since around Grade 10, and with the exception of a token increase in my glasses prescription every few years, there has not been much change there.

The winds of change started blowing about 6 years ago, as the gap between my short range and long range vision started getting wider. My ophthalmologist couldn’t have been sweeter or more sensitive in gently discussing the “B” word (…bifocals) or the “P” word (…progressives) without ever shocking me into realizing that I wasn’t 21 anymore. She dropped hints and explained the options, never forcing the issue on me and she always concluded our little chat about the facts of life with, “You’ll know when it is a problem and you need that correction.”

Up until now, it really has not been a bother. If I wanted to read, or do something on the iPad or iPhone, I would usually just flip my glasses up on top of my head and do what I needed, and flip the glasses back down onto my nose when I was done.

Also, because the frames on my last few pair of glasses were a bit smaller, I got used to cheating a little and just looking down, below the frame. It worked, especially for quick little things like signing a document or looking at the time.

However, last year, Continue reading

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I’ve Been Waiting In Line So Long…

Just before our trip to New Orleans, I was waiting in a long line at the currency exchange office for a good 35-40 minutes. Of course, that was not a problem in itself, that is part of the fun of getting ready for a trip. But had the office not been so warm while I was wearing my winter coat, I might not have been drifting off into my own little writing world thinking of punchlines for “I’ve been waiting so long in line… (blank)

(For my fellow game show fans, it’s a little like Match Game)

I’ve been waiting in line so long…

– My skip-a-day deodorant needs to be reapplied
– I need to take my next one-a-day vitamin
– A mortgage payment just went through
– I’ve completed all levels in Candy Crush
– I’ve watched YouTube… All of it.
– My “daily defence” moisturizer surrendered.
– My iPhone says I am missing 91 app updates
– I am ready for my next haircut
– My outfit is now considered retro
– My passport has expired
– My library books are overdue
– My Blockbuster movies are overdue… waaaay overdue
– Scientists have found two more planets, and Pluto is really pissed! Continue reading

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Top 10 Things About the Cat That Make Me Laugh

IvyAndMeSince the arrival of Ivy the cat in my life last June, there has not been a shortage of good times and good laughs shared in her company… and dare I say, at her expense (just don’t tell her that!)

Here they are, the Top 10 things about the cat that make me laugh.

10-The above picture
It must be just the angle of the picture, but this one really adds validity to what they say about “the camera adds 10 pounds”, which must be a real bitch when you only weigh 9 pounds to begin with.

9-The look she gives me when I eat a can of tuna

I secretly admit that when NO ONE is looking, every once in a while, I will eat tuna right of the can. It saves on dishes and is awfully expedient and efficient in the delivery of quick protein. However, I can appreciate how much it looks like Miss Ivy’s smaller cans of food and can understand the glare she gives me when she catches me in the act, when she goes into that cat stealth mode that she does so well. The loud meow of “AHA! GOTCHA!” is enough to make your blood freeze. I may have to stop that.

8-Blocking the sandbag
When I picked her up from the pet store, they gave me one of the toys that she played with, a little cat-sized sandbag that is the perfect size for playing “catch” (or at least her version, run after it and walk away). What has blown me away is her vertical jump to block a throw and then kick it off her hind leg… someday I will get it on film and post it as it is a stunning athletic feat. Clearly she does not get that eye-hand coordination from her adoptive Dad. Continue reading

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Filed under Cats, Humour, Inspiring, Misc blogs

Where Did the Little Voice Go?

Pool chairs, Tropicana Hotel, Las Vegas 2007 As any diligent writer would do, whether I am away from home for a weekend or a week, part of my packing routine includes gathering drafts of unfinished blogs, up-to-date outlines of stories I am working on, office supplies to keep the drafts and side notes organized and a reliable little notebook and pen, in case a moment of brilliance strikes when the airplane seat belt sign is on. In a nutshell, my carry-on becomes a mobile Staples store.

When traveling, one never knows when one might be spending unplanned time in the airplane terminal, on the tarmac or on a long layover. By the same token, one never knows when a shift in time zones might lead to a sleepless night. It is with the best of intentions that I ensure I am ready to make the best use of any free time that presents itself to capture the stories and ideas floating around in my head.

However, in the last three major trips, something happened: I did not write. I did not review unfinished blog drafts, I did not scribble any notes, I don’t even think I added more than 10 words to the Notes app on my iPad. What happened?

It is like that little narrator voice that speaks to me and is constantly bombarding me with ideas, phrases and puzzle pieces of dialogue (and often at inconvenient times too, I might add) suddenly disappeared.

It was when I was unpacking from our most recent trip to New Orleans that I realized Continue reading

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My Grown-Up Christmas List

SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURESAs we get into the home stretch for holiday and Christmas preparations, one cannot help but notice the Christmas music playing in shopping malls, in stores, on the radio and in every television commercial. One in particular that I have been really enjoying is “My Grown-Up Christmas List”. Composed in 1990 by David Foster and Linda Thompson, the tune is a timely reminder that Christmas is not just about consumerism but it is about kindness, good will, respect and generosity of spirit. Check out the lyrics, it really is a pretty song!

However, on a much less serious note, I find myself reinterpreting the song, time and time again, thinking how life would be so perfect if life’s minor annoyances were eradicated. This my friends, is my grown up Christmas list:

-Perforated products such as paper towels and toilet paper that will actually tear off on the provided perforations.

-For tissues to not explode in the washing machine.

-For the safe return of socks that have gone missing from the laundry.

-For TV networks to not conspire and load up Sunday evenings with some of the week’s best television shows and create a scheduling nightmare for my PVR.

-Football games that run long and exacerbate the problem of recording the multitude of programs I need to record on Sunday evenings.

-Cling wrap that actually clings to what you want it to cling to, not everything else… including itself. Continue reading

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Digital Amnesia

It was perhaps just one month ago that I heard the expression “digital amnesia” for the first time. Well, there is a chance I may have read about it or heard about it before, but I probably forgot.

After a bit of digital research, it would seem that digital amnesia can be interpreted four ways:
– Forgetting things that used to get committed to memory, such as telephone numbers, when technology removes the need for us to remember and use them on a regular basis;
– An increasing challenge in performing functions that technology can do for us more efficiently but that were previously done manually, such as math;
– Not relying or trusting our memory and reaching for the phone to remember or prove something; or
– Forgetfulness when it comes to details, due to the constant influx of information from so many sources that our brains do not have enough time to process, digest and retain.

While I quite appreciate the idea of the unlimited potential of the brain and the theory that we are only harnessing a fraction of what it is capable of doing, it does seem like a bit of a departure from conventional thinking to consider that the brain does have its limits and that we are there when it comes to information overload.

For example, when it comes to details, I cannot tell you how many times I have found myself in a conversation and stumbling to try to accurately quote something I heard on TV, on the radio, or through one of the social media platforms I read regularly. When combined with the flood of emails I receive daily at work and in my personal accounts, as well as my friends’ Facebook posts and tweets from my fellow writers and runners, it’s a wonder that with that quantity of factoids in my head I am able to recall anything.

Or worse yet, God forbid I should start mixing up stories such as things I read about products to keep the cat off my kitchen counter with solutions to help deal with unwanted body hair. That could be disastrous on many levels.

At first, I just thought that Continue reading

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The Graveyard of Blog Posts

Typewriter
In recent months, I seem to be in a weird loop of starting blog posts but not finishing them which seems to be turning my laptop into a graveyard of incomplete blog posts.

I find myself succumbing to the little voice in my head pitching at rapid fire pace, “Hey!… What about this for a blog topic?” I start outlining the idea, populating the outline and then before you know it, the little voice pitches another one at me. Sad to say that my enthusiastic little inner voice sometimes has attention span issues too.

Where it becomes a bit of a problem is that the idea seems to run out of steam anywhere between the 300 to 600 word range, when my target for a complete post is between 800 to 1000 words.

Would I be content with a shorter blog post? Of course I would, provided that the post succeeded in saying something meaningful or significant in fewer words. But sadly that is not always the case.

Or, on the other hand, when the post hits my targeted word count, it sometimes lacks a certain “oomph”, a certain je ne sais quoi that I think will have people smiling, giggling or nodding through the post as if they can relate.

In some ways, it is a little like dating, with blog post waiting for the right wording to come along to see if they work well together. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, and in some cases we’re still waiting.

It really is an exciting time when the “a-ha” moment arrives and a blog post that was started several weeks or months ago finally marries up to that magic idea, phrasing or common thread to tie the idea together and wrap it up in a nice neat bow.

But in some cases, I have to cut myself some slack because in developing a post, I ride that train of thought as far as it goes but sometimes the train only seems to go so far. I then find myself at the end of the line with not much more to say.

Then there are times when I find myself painted in the corner of a blog post and unable to get out to wrap it up with a half decent conclusion (closure is very important to me in a blog post… and in life!)

And sometimes, an idea that seemed to work in my head, once actually translated to the computer screen or to paper, sometimes just doesn’t work. It’s not for a lack of trying, but when I take a step back, draft after draft and think to myself who’s going to read this? For whom will this resonate? What point am I making with this? What am I saying and will anyone care if even I don’t find this compelling?

Surprisingly, I am OK with that. Each blog post holds its own learning experience. So I park it and wait for inspiration to come along.

I guess that is probably how certain artists must feel when they spent years on a work of art, like when we see a classic painting in a gallery saying it was created from this year to that year. (Oh Lord, does that mean some posts will be lingering on my laptop for years?) I guess in my case, that is the way it goes when you have a day job and writing is the second career.

Even though I have roughly 40 incomplete blog posts waiting in the wings, I hope that inspiration will strike when I least expect it and bring me the right words at the right time to complete them. I fervently believe that creativity works that way and that we cannot always control the exact moment when a piece comes to fruition.

Either way, I try not to worry much about it. As long as I publish one quality post per week, I am very happy because I know I am learning and honing my craft every week. In addition, the note taking never ends and a couple of novels are getting written one or two sentences at a time. (I can just imagine the process of putting the jigsaw pieces together in early retirement and eventually forming a manuscript out of them.)

All I can do in the meantime is just keep capturing the ideas as they flow and commit them to paper or computer. I don’t really need to think too hard about what works, my job is just to write it, try to make it work, and hope the piece reaches maturity. If it doesn’t work, park it and try again another day.

After all, if recording artists can spend months in the recording studio to produce 60 minutes of music, or create 40-50 songs but narrow down the selection to 12 on an album, maybe these partial blog posts are like understudies waiting for their big break too.

Maybe I should not regard the “graveyard of blog posts” as a problem but rather a great repository of ideas in development, waiting for the perfect words to come along. At some point they will, it is just a matter of time.

Fellow bloggers, does this happen to you? Is every blog post a winner right out of the gate or do you sometimes need to work at them over time… a lot of time?

Did you enjoy this post? If you did, please know that there are plenty more where that came from! If you haven’t already, you can check out the rest of my blog at andrebegin.net. From there, you can click on the “Follow” button to receive future posts directly in your inbox.
Also, don’t be shy, feel free to tell a friend or to share the link.
Sincere thanks for reading!
Happy Halloween
André

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