Tag Archives: management

Ruminating, Racing Thoughts and Overthinking

… or does “Overthinking, Racing Thoughts and Ruminating” sound better?

… or should I say, “Racing Thoughts, Ruminating and Overthinking”?

… or perhaps “Ruminating, Overthinking and Racing Thoughts?”

As someone who considers himself a proactive person, it is well within my nature to think things through before acting.

Not only do I want to avoid making mistakes, but when I make a decision, I’d like to think that I have been responsible, thoughtful, balanced, sensitive and kind.

I admit it, I don’t deal well with surprises. Getting blindsided sends steam shooting out of my ears. Getting pressed for quick decisions and reactions without the proper time to process the situation sends my blood pressure through the roof.

While I think others have more confidence in my handling of things than I do myself, perhaps it is a sense of not wanting to let people down by appearing unprepared, that I try to eradicate surprises before they happen.

But that’s exhausting. Anticipating every possible outcome is next to impossible and developing an action plan for every negative scenario is hard on the mind, body and spirit.
This is not to say I can’t be impulsive or spontaneous. I have a pretty good sense of what works for me and what doesn’t. Over 52 years, my gut has rarely steered me wrong. I just need to trust that instinct.

When I trust my gut, my thought process, and I am comfortable knowing that there is little ripple effect from a spur of the moment decision, overthinking is not a problem.

But it is the decisions that impact others that stretch out my thought process. Depending on the situation, that process can be painfully stretched out to the point of not being able to shut it off. It is in those times that I wish I had the control, alt, delete buttons for my brain.

Where does this feeling come from? Is it a need to be extremely cautious to avoid making a mistake, of letting someone down, or accidentally hurting someone? Do I fear the cascading effect a bad decision of mine might have on others? Do I fear someone else’s negative reaction like anger or distrust if I chose incorrectly?

Am I putting too much pressure on myself in not trusting in other people’s resilience in the face of adversity? Do I not trust enough in my own skills and resilience if things don’t go as planned?

But when life gets so busy that I don’t have enough time to process decisions as quickly as they arise, that’s when the rumination train leaves the station and headed for a bumpy ride toward Analysis Paralysis. That is when things stall. Rolling with the punches becomes more and more difficult.

When I see myself trapped in my thought process, the obvious answer for me is to write. Even if the writing takes the form of just rambling thoughts, in point form, with no particular order, I know the thoughts are out of my head and safely on paper. In most cases, it takes more than one writing session to get it all down and out of my system, but that’s OK.

Just reviewing my thoughts, committed to paper, is a huge step forward in viewing the situation more objectively and getting the wheels turning again.

Where I go next depends on the situation. Sometimes organizing the thoughts to break down the problem and its symptoms is helpful. Sometimes breaking down the steps to completion like an action plan, and not seeing the problem as a huge mountain is the way forward. Sometimes, scribbling out different ways to address the problem and then evaluating each for its pros and cons, is the key.

Another approach that has helped me the most has been to write out the best case scenario, the worst case scenario, and expect something in between. Then if I can write out my contingency plan for the worst case scenario, in theory, I should be prepared for anything. And once it’s written down, it’s like I’ve got my own “Standard operating procedure” ready, just in case.

However, the approaches are not without limitations. Some situations just don’t lend themselves to this kind of treatment, like certain catch-22s when you are darned if you do and darned if you don’t. Another such scenario is being caught in the middle of two people who are depending on you to act, but both have completely opposite views to how a situation is to be resolved and are not destined to meet in the middle.

Even though my strong sense of tact, diplomacy and respect have been immeasurably helpful in situations that really stretch the boundaries of conventional problem solving, it also takes razor sharp communication skills to play referee in tough situations.

I often ask myself if I am too sensitive to everyone’s needs. Am I forcing myself to carry the weight of the world to make sure each decision is tailor-made to everyone’s expectations and specifications?

Can I possibly make everyone happy if I think a decision through hundreds of times?

… Is that realistic?

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Sincere thanks for reading!
Have a great day,


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Filed under 50+, Health and Wellness, mental health

When a Cell Phone Ruins the Movie

I was at the movie theatre one night, on the edge of my seat, holding my breath, when Dame Judi Dench was in the middle of a long pause, about to utter with masterful precision the words that will earn her next Academy Award nomination… when I was suddenly blinded by a bright blue screen, from the idiot in front of me, checking her phone.

Needless to say, I was devastated to have been dragged out of the precious moment where I completely escaped my own life, to live vicariously through the characters of this cinematic masterpiece. I felt robbed.

I leaned over and whispered sternly, “That’s very distracting!” The idiot turned back and gave me a glare like she was the offended one.

Are you kidding me?

After she turned around, I offered her my look of scorn and severe disdain with one eyebrow raised and one lowered, accompanied by a middle-finger salute, a gesture I reserve for the rare few who crack through my calm exterior and get my blood instantly boiling. With that done, I was able to let it go and reconnect with the movie.

I don’t know why but lately, it seems that every visit to a theatre has at least one person checking their phone during the movie which is completely unfair to the rest of the movie patrons.

A movie theatre is a place where people go to escape from day-to-day reality. It’s a place to forget one’s troubles, to get inspired and to be taken away to a different world. Continue reading

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Filed under 50+, Humour, Misc blogs, Theatre