If there is any doubt about whether Mother Nature has a sense of humour or not, I offer you the following into evidence: hair.
Hair is the epitome of irony, isn’t it? People with curly hair want straight hair. People with straight hair want wavy hair. I’ve known people who have changed hair colours and/or hair styles with every passing season (with great envy).
We try turning our hairstyles into gravity-defying structures, or we flatten it out to look sleek and chic. Sometimes we make it do things it just wasn’t meant to do.
And as we get older, Mother Nature is not through with us yet. Oh no. The fun is just beginning.
In my case, in my 40s, she took it away a few strands at a time. She might have thought she was sneaky, but I fought back by getting a clipper cut. Problem solved, or so I thought.
Who could guess that her punchline would be the random places where she is putting it back in my 50s?
I fully expected that after age 50, trimming nose hairs would become a necessity to avoid looking like a catfish. I also expected that I might need to keep my eyebrows in check so that they didn’t look like wings and suddenly take flight in the middle of a serious boardroom meeting.
I am very lucky that I am fair haired (or at least, I was) so new stray sprouts haven’t been too noticeable. But those new “platinum” ones (btw, I love saying “platinum” as I think it oozes coolness) do catch one’s eye faster. Thankfully, there is no shortage of grooming tools to keep new growth under control. Continue reading
10 – Things entitled “easy instructions”, “so simple even a child can do it” or “5 simple steps”, rarely are.
9 – The days I am running late for work are the days the cat will plop down in front of the door or the staircase as if to say “You’re not going anywhere, Mister”.
8 – The days I have an eye appointment and will receive the pupil dilating drops, it is guaranteed that it will be a bright sunny day and never a single cloud in the sky.
7 – No matter how much advance research I make before a major purchase, people will only share their worst horror stories about a product AFTER I’ve made the purchase.
6 – The less time I have for something, the longer it will take. Continue reading
Back in 1995, one of our local newspapers, The Ottawa Sun, held a contest in which they asked readers to send in their best “Holiday Horror Stories”. Despite the title, they were just looking for lighthearted stories recounting when holiday festivities didn’t go as planned. I knew exactly which story to tell, and that was the holiday of 1992 when Murphy’s Law was alive and well at my apartment! I decided to put my true story to prose to give it a little more of a comedic lilt. Sure enough, I made it to the winner’s circle and the Sun published a few excerps from the poem. My prize was tickets to a fabulously swanky New Year’s Eve bash. Unfortunately, Murphy wasn’t finished with me yet, and I came down with an ear infection and couldn’t go.
I still get a chuckle when I read this one, and I hope you enjoy it too!
A Christmas Story (written in December 1995)
T’was the morning of Christmas in 1992,
When I woke in the morning with a lousy flu,
“What rotten timing, oh please go away”,
I thought to myself as I started the day. Continue reading