With retirement just a few months away, what has been interesting to me has been taking a moment to step back and to observe how my mindset has changed, without deliberately doing so.
Things that used to occupy a significant amount of thought, energy and a constant state of preparedness have slowly faded into the background.
I think it started around the time I made the decision that after five times accepting short assignments filling in for a manager, that I decided management really wasn’t for me and that climbing the corporate ladder was off the table.
After so many years of being groomed for management, and having so many people say that they believed in me, it was a difficult decision as I didn’t want to let my mentors down.
But the reality was that while I was indeed capable of managing a team, I felt more fulfilled when I was rolling my sleeves up and delving into the technical aspects of the work, more so than when I was leading others through the work.
It also made me appreciate that much more the job I really enjoyed the most over the span of my career to the point of jokingly asking my boss for a “no trade” clause, as I had made up my mind that this was what I wanted to do until it was time to say farewell.
Those two decisions alone brought me so much relief in not having to actively look at job postings anymore, or going through the lengthy processes of applying, testing and interviewing, which always seemed to feel like “homework” when there were other things to which I would prefer to devote time and energy. Continue reading
… or does “Overthinking, Racing Thoughts and Ruminating” sound better?
… or should I say, “Racing Thoughts, Ruminating and Overthinking”?
… or perhaps “Ruminating, Overthinking and Racing Thoughts?”
As someone who considers himself a proactive person, it is well within my nature to think things through before acting.
Not only do I want to avoid making mistakes, but when I make a decision, I’d like to think that I have been responsible, thoughtful, balanced, sensitive and kind.
I admit it, I don’t deal well with surprises. Getting blindsided sends steam shooting out of my ears. Getting pressed for quick decisions and reactions without the proper time to process the situation sends my blood pressure through the roof.
While I think others have more confidence in my handling of things than I do myself, perhaps it is a sense of not wanting to let people down by appearing unprepared, that I try to eradicate surprises before they happen.
But that’s exhausting. Anticipating every possible outcome is next to impossible and developing an action plan for every negative scenario is hard on the mind, body and spirit.
This is not to say I can’t be impulsive or spontaneous. I have a pretty good sense of what works for me and what doesn’t. Over 52 years, my gut has rarely steered me wrong. I just need to trust that instinct. Continue reading
A few days ago, local radio station Boom 99.7 FM asked listeners the following question: “If you could go back in time and give yourself advice, what would it be?” I admit that I nearly sprained a few brain cells looking for an answer as I thought it was a great question!
Looking back, there are certainly things I would have done differently. There are probably a few things I would not have said, regardless of how carefully I tried to choose my words. There is also a list of bad movies and horrible TV shows I should not have wasted precious time watching, but I did anyway.
As I sit here on the bus, listening to some of my favourite 80’s Duran Duran, trying to recreate the soundtrack of such a pivotal period, I think back to the important life decisions I made along the way since then and the situations in which I channelled the greatest focus, in time, energy and resources.
I think it is fair to say that this Libra generally followed his astrological sign to a “T”, in weighing the pros and cons of situations, sometimes to the point of exasperation of my peers. But when the decision was made, it was the right one for me based on available information at that moment in time. Continue reading