“I spotted you across a crowded room a few weeks ago. We exchanged glances but it was clearly not our time yet. You have been on my mind ever since. I had to keep looking in your direction, once or sometimes twice per day, waiting for the day you would be available. Don’t be afraid though, I don’t mean that in a stalker kind of way. It was just the persistence of staying aware of your status as I did not want to miss my chance if and when it would come up, or risk someone else getting to you first.
You may not know this, but we go way back! We knew each other when we were kids. You might not recognize me though since those were my ‘husky’ years, but we saw each other often. You comforted me at a difficult time in my life back when I changed schools, became the less-than-popular kid and the target for bullies. Yes, we go way back and you will never know how much I appreciate the joy and comfort you brought. You mean a lot to me.
Throughout the years, a couple of people said you were not good for me, but I had to ignore them and make my mind up for myself. Some thought you were too sweet, some even thought you were a little plain, but what others thought didn’t matter to me… even today. There is a constant state of mystery about you which makes you that much more attractive to me yet guarded at the same time.
I have been warned about you and frankly, when I’m with you I feel a little bit like a rebel and a bad-ass. You bring an instant sense of euphoria to my life and as little as an hour after we part ways, I’m down again, which is why I often vacillate on whether a quick fix like you is what I truly need. Nonetheless, there are some crazy days I would break down metal walls for you, but I realize I just need to be patient for when the time would be right.
There are some days I know I don’t have the kind of money I would need to make you mine, which makes me work that much harder in order to get ready for the day when the time will be right.
At the risk of sounding a little vain, I will even admit that I have been working out a little harder in the last couple of weeks in anticipation of our moment together.
I looked in on you yesterday and saw you were close to the edge. I knew I would need to be here soon to catch you if you should fall. I’m sorry we had to wait so long, but the others ahead of you just were not my type. Frankly some were a little nuts and I was not content to settle. I knew deep down that my patience would pay off.
I promise that this time, when our time comes, I will take my time to savour every moment together and won’t take our opportunity for granted. I have regretted some of my previous carelessness when we were together and I was not always in the moment, forced to juggle other urgent priorities despite it being OUR time together, but that is life sometimes. I will do better this time, I promise and I will make the moment last.
It is time!”
I went back to my desk, opened the drawer and retrieved the six quarters I was saving preciously for that time when the Caramilk bar was at the front of the row in the vending machine. I returned to the machine, inserted my money into the slot, my hand quivering in anticipation of this wonderful moment. Once my $1.50 was acknowledged, the excitement built as the metal spiral started to turn slowly, gently moving Caramilk closer to me then propelling Caramilk off the edge of its row and hopping merrily into the retrieval compartment at the bottom of the machine. With a flourish, I pushed my hand through the trap door and picked up my ‘baby’ and scurried back to my desk for us to spend some quality time together.
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